rejection Archives - The Self-Worth Experiment

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20 truths about low self-worth I wish I had known 20 years ago
Apr 07

20 truths about low self-worth I wish I had known 20 years ago

By Dr Berni Sewell | Heal your self-worth

Twenty years ago, I lived in a constant state of “not good enough”.

I felt inferior to everyone I met, which caused social anxiety and forced me to avoid social gatherings and meeting other people.

I never believed in myself or my abilities. Low confidence and self-doubt shot me down whenever I attempted something new and worthwhile. Which kept me stuck in an inescapable state of mediocrity.
And made me beat myself up for my failure to become more than the pathetic disappointment I was.

I lay awake at night, worrying about the awful things other people may say or think about me. Overanalysing every interaction that day, to gauge where I had made a fool of myself, and how long it would be until I would be rejected. And anxious about the terrifying tasks of the next day that always seemed overwhelming and too big to handle.

In relationships, I was a pushover and people pleaser because I felt unacceptable and unlovable. And hoped I could buy some love if I pleased and served non-stop. As a consequence, people often took advantage of me, my relationships were mostly one-sided, and I was unhappy.

And I was so used to hiding my true Self that I didn’t even know who I was anymore, what I wanted from life. I just tried to get through each day without humiliating myself or being criticised or having a panic attack.

And it took all the strength I had not to hate my worthless butt. I had dreams, hopes and goals. But they seemed unreachable, ridiculous pipe dreams of a chronic loser who would never amount to anything.

In one word, my life was suffering.
All because I didn’t know 20 things about low self-worth I know today.

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How to avoid social isolation (when you are an introvert)
Dec 03

How to avoid social isolation (when you are an introvert)

By Dr Berni Sewell | Love yourself

For me, as a highly sensitive, introvert empath, High School was hell. I enjoyed reading books more than trips to the shopping mall. Preferred gardening to “meeting up with the boys”, actually loved learning and detested the obligatory Saturday night partying.

I was a geek, a teacher’s pet with uncool hobbies, unexciting interests and oddball opinions. But still, I wanted to be accepted. Be part of the popular crowd.

So, throughout my school years, it seemed like I only had two options:

Be true to my authentic Self and face rejection, bullying and loneliness. Or deny my true nature, renounce my interests and adapt my personality to fit in and avoid social isolation.

And both of these options meant suffering. But there was a third option. It was right in front of me all the time. I just never allowed myself to see it.

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How to embrace your introvert nature (even if you feel uncool and boring)
Sep 29

How to embrace your introvert nature (even if you feel uncool and boring)

By Dr Berni Sewell | Love yourself

All my life I felt torn. I hated the hustle and bustle of shopping centres, bars and pubs. I loathed the unbearable noise and suffocating crowds in discos and at concerts.

I felt grumpy and irritated all day if I had to go to a party that evening. And once there, I wished I could be home in front of the TV with my latest needlework project.

While I loved my uneventful hobbies and never was bored myself, I felt that other people judged me: Look at that superbore! Could she be any more old-fashioned, dull and uncool?

I lived in constant fear of humiliation, ridicule and rejection. It hurt when others made fun of me. At times, I felt isolated and lonely because I didn’t socialise enough to meet new people. And my aversion to everything cool, hip or “in” suggested that something was seriously wrong with me.

And, back then, I only saw one solution to the problem…

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